Due to an unexpected shortage of able bodied jihadists the grand mucky-up, Al Qaida Master Blaster is now asking for volunteers to wear explosive vests for fun, fame and access to great numbers of virgins. Anyone interested in this job may apply for immediate (if somewhat temporary) positions in various locations all around the world. No prior knowledge of explosives is required and no one will be turned away due to race, ethnic background or religious beliefs. (You are all welcome, praise Allah). We are especially interested in ‘fringe’ elements that lack any common sense whatsoever and who wish to make a big noise in the world. Successful candidates will be flown, free to special training camps where they will learn the fine elements of wearing a vest (three day course, meals included). Once they have gone through the program, each successful trainee will receive a diploma suitable for framing and a discount coupon that will entitle the bearer to 40 virgins on completion of their mission. If you think you have the guts stamina for a demanding job like this please email us at RUFINGCRZY@Gmail.com.