A new dawn in the Land of PUSS!

Fully outfitted and ready!

Picture a not too distant future where all those pesky jerks in the Conservative Party were no longer around! A United States now renamed the Progressive United Socialist States or PUSS for short! A supper government that is one giant all encompassing entity with deserving people like George Soros at the helm! (Think of an Orwellian State, but on steroids)!

In the Land of PUSS, there would be no tolerance for anything that was considered bad or not Progressive. The Gov (now renamed God by popular acclaim) would issue dictum’s that all citizens would be required to follow, as by that point, everyone would know by heart the new motto printed on all their currency…
‘Scimus enim quod melius est’
We know what is best
In the Land of PUSS, you would be expected to conform to certain state sponsored programs and would be (properly) controlled via control devices like those displayed in the graphic above. You would subscribe to the concept that the government (aka God) knows what BEST for you and more importantly what’s FAIR for you and your fellow man. Every man women or child would be required to wear three lightweight ‘devices’ that would automatically help insure adherence to ‘God’ and what ‘God’ thinks best for the population at whatsoever time ‘God’ wants. I humbly submit them in reverse order:
Device C – an Anti-thief Identifier or ATI – Let’s say you commit an illegal act like stealing some poor lady’s purse! This nifty device would be activated (by the authorities of course) and would send pulses of Taser-like energy up your left leg causing it to jerk uncontrollably, thereby forcing you to run in circles while simultaneously peeing your pants! A sure and easy way for the police to identify and thus catch your sorry ass!
Device B– a Food Consumption Reminder or FCR – This device would routinely sample your blood for high sugar levels. Anyone found with more than the allowable levels of sugar in their blood stream would receive a gentle electric shock to help remind them to please stay within their dietary allowance! [This device, like all the devices would constantly communicate with a central authority who could reprogram it to monitor other blood abnormalities (like alcohol) should that be required]. After all, it’s for your own good and more importantly, it would be FAIR to the other citizens!
Device A– the Ultimate Compliance Device or UCD – This little jewel would be lightweight, waterproof, tamper proof and would be attached from the age of ten until death. (Just like the other two ‘compliance devices’). It’s function would be to enforce a STOP & DIE police order by exploding and thereby severing the wearers head from his or hers evil body. [Please note that this particular device could only be activated only when a ‘judge’ gave the go ahead order for your termination for some wrong you perpetrated on society, whatever that ‘wrong’ might be]. As it’s use is both immediate and final – expensive internment via jails and prisons (as well as other legal costs) would be thereby eliminated. See! Another cost saving feature!
These devices, originally thought up by some folks at the DOJ years before, SAVES MONEY and is FAIR to all the otherwise God-fearing and law abiding sheepcitizens in the newly formed Land of PUSS! Long live the collective and our all knowing Progressive Party!

About forsythkid

I am just a simple man with a head full of sand who is currently residing in a small town called Forsyth Missouri. I enjoy hiking, camping and all things related to gardening. I rec’d my degree from SIU majoring in Biology many moons ago and still maintain a great interest in the study of all living things. My hobbies include meteorology, the Finnish language and inhabiting cyberspace whenever possible.
This entry was posted in Compliance devices, Forsythkid, Land of PUSS, satire. Bookmark the permalink.

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